Bad Taste Jokes

There once was a girl who couldn't ****,
Because she kept playing with 'er clit.
The doctor said 'stop!'.
So she pulled off her top,
And started to play with her tit!

There once was a girl from Belize
Who could put fruit in her c*nt with ease
If you're drinking some tea
When she has to pee
Just ask "Some lemon juice, please"

There was a man from Nantucket
Whose **** was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
If my ear were a c*nt I could **** it!

There was a young girl from Hoboken
Who claimed that her hymen was broken
From riding her bike
On a cobblestone pike
But it really was broken from pokin'!!!

There was a goucho named Bruno
Who said, "about ****, I do know,.."
That women are fine,
And sheep are divine,
But llamas are numero uno!!!"

There was a young woman from Ealing
Who has a peculiar feeling,
She lay on her back
Opened her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling

There was a young man from Bellaire
Who was screwing his girl on the stair.
But the banister broke,
So he doubled his stroke,
And finished her off in mid-air.

There once was a man from the cape
Who **** a barbarian ape
The ape said you fool
You **** up my tool
And put all my arse out of shape

There was a young man from Spartar,
Who was an incredible farter.
At the strength of one bean,
He could play "God Save the Queen",
And Beethoven's "Moonlight Senata".
The selection was tough, I admit.
He didn't stutter one little bit.
He threw his arse aloft,
And he suddenly coughed.
And collapsed in a shower of ****!

The Duchess when pouring the tea,
Asked "Do you fart when you pee?"
I replied with some wit,
"Do you belch when you ****?"
And I think that was one up to me

Once a young gay from Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room.
They argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with which, and to whom.

A pretty young lady named Vogel
Once sat herself down on a molehill.
A curious mole
Nosed into her hole --
Ms. Vogel's OK, but the mole's ill.

An architect fellow named Yoric
Could, when feeling euphoric,
Display for selection
Three kinds of **** --
Corinthian, ionic, and doric.

There once was a lady from Exeter,
So pretty that men craned their necks at her.
One was even so brave
As to take out and wave
The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.

There once was a hacker named Ken
Who inherited truckloads of Yen
So he built him some chicks
Of silicon chips
And hasn't been heard from since then.

There was a young **** from kaloo
Who filled her **** with glue.
She said with a grin,
"If they pay to get in,
They can pay to get out again too!"