Resimay

[Surprsie]

Resimay 

To hoom it mae cunsern,

I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper.   

I can Type realee quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting..   

I think I am good on the phone and I no I am a pepole person,   
Pepole really seam to respond
to me well. Certain men and all the ladies.   

I no my spelling is not to good but fi nd that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety.     

My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,   

I can start emeditely.  Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.   

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,

BRYAN     

PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me.   


Dear Bryan ,   

It's OK honey, we've got spell check.   

[icy]

 

Sting is gay, obviously.

[caskur]

No flaming in the non-flame section,

thank you icy

SS~

[Hahaha]

Don't be so crabby caskur.

[caskur]

Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, when he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. So, I'm stumped." His buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!" So the first fella did just that. The next day his buddy asked, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?" "She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, 'I'll see you in two hours'."


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The two old coots were both only a year short of retirement from the assembly line, but one Monday morning that didn't keep Joe from
boasting to Manny about his sexual endurance.  "Three times," gasped Manny admiringly. "How'd you do it?"  "It was easy." Joe looked down modestly. "I made love to my wife, and then I rolled over and took a ten-minute nap. When I woke up again, I made love to her again and took another ten-minute nap. And then I put it to her again. Can you believe it! I woke up this morning feeling like a bull, I'll tell you."  "I gotta try it," said Manny. "Lorraine won't believe it's happening." So that night he made love to his wife, took a ten-minute nap, made love to her again, took another nap, woke up and made love to her a third time, then rolled over and fell sound asleep.  He woke up feeling like a million bucks, pulled on his clothes, and ran to the factory, where he found his boss waiting outside for him. "What's up, Boss?" he asked. "I've been working for you for twenty years and never been late once. You aren't going to hold these twenty minutes against me now, are you?"  "What twenty minutes?" growled the boss. "Where were you on Tuesday and Wednesday?"

[caskur™]

GHOST
SEX

A professor at the Auburn University was giving a lecture on Paranormal
Studies.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, 'How many
people here believe in ghosts?'

About 90 students raise their
hands.

Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in
ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?'

About 40
students raise their hands.

That's really good. I'm really glad
you take this seriously Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?'


About 15 students raise their hand.

Has anyone here ever
touched a ghost?'

Three students raise their hands.


That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further...Have
any of you ever made love to a ghost?'

Way in the back, Ahmed
raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses and says
'Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and
tell us about your experience.'

The Middle Eastern student
replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the
podium.

When he reached the front of the room, the professor
asks, 'So, Ahmed, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?'


Ahmed replied, "****, from way back there I thought you said
Goats."