"The Good Samaritan"
A guy walked into a bar. As he was ordering his first drink, he looked
around and saw a guy down the end of the bar falling off his stool. He said
to himself, "Aw, man, this is disgusting, somebody oughta do something."
He walked over and said, "Hey buddy, let me give you a ride home." He
picked the drunk up and dragged him to the door of the bar. He had to prop
the guy up against the wall to open the door, but the guy fell down!
When he got the guy out to his car, he propped him up against the car to
get out his keys, and the guy fell down again!
Soon they were on their way. He asked the drunk where he lived, and the
drunk pointed to a house. He parked and helped the drunk out of the car.
He dragged him up the steps, and propped him up against the railing so he
could ring the bell. Again, the guy fell down!
Finally the drunk's wife came to the door. "Look, lady, I brought your
husband home for you."
She says, "Well, that's very nice of you, young man, but where's his
wheelchair?"
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A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several
months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role.
"Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like
best is that the customer is always wrong."
A little girl was playing in the garden when she spotted two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.
"They're mating," her father replied.
"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?"
"That's a daddy longlegs," her father answered.
"So, the other one is a mommy longlegs?" the girl asked.
"No," her father replied. "Both of them are daddy longlegs."
The little girl thought about it for a moment then took her foot and stamped
them flat. "Well, we're not having any of THAT in OUR garden."
