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Two Starving Bums

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caskur
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« on: November 07, 2008, 03:48:44 am »

Bomb Threat

One night, the hospital where I work received a bomb threat. As a result, the other nurses and I were directed to check our patients' rooms for anything supicious.

Using a small flashlight, I entered the room of an 83-year-old woman. She was sleeping, so I carefully tiptoed inside and began to poke around near a box of candy she had received earlier that day.

Suddenly the woman bolted awake. "If you wanted a piece of candy," she scolded, "all you had to do was ask." 



Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin


Retarded Grandparent

 
RETARDED GRANDPARENTS (this was actually reported by a teacher)

After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school.

One child wrote the following:

We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Arizona.

Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass.

They ride around on their bicycles and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore.

They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, and do exercises there, but they don't do them very well.

There is a swimming pool too, but in it, they all jump up and down with hats on.

At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape.

Sometimes they sneak out. They go cruising in their golf carts.

Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night, "early birds".

Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center and call it pot luck.

My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too.

When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out so they can visit the grandchildren.



Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin


Is it a good baby?


A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.

He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"

She replied, "Im having a baby."

With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"

She said, "He sure is."

Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"

She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."

With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked... "Then why did you eat him?"
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