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Two Starving Bums

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caskur
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« on: November 07, 2008, 03:36:55 am »

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."

"My darling," he replied, "think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."



Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin


Single Black Female

 
This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to

have been listed in The Atlanta Journal.

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity

unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love

long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and

fishing trips,cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will

have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get

home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6420

and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting...

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane

Society about an 8-week-old black Labrador retriever. (Men are so

easy).



Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin


A Letter to Father from Son


A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed

was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope

propped up prominently on the centre of the bed. It was

addressed,"Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope

and read the letter with trembling hands:


Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with

my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice -- even with all

her piercings, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes.

But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we

will be very happy. Even though you don't care for her as she is so much

older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of

firewood for the whole winter.

She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my

dreams too. Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone

and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the

**** and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will

find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of

myself.

Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your

grandchildren.

Your son,
John

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house.

I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my

report card that's in my desk centre drawer. I love you!

Call when it is safe

for me to come home. 
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