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Latest Humour


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caskurô
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« on: November 02, 2008, 08:02:08 am »

A Collingwood girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter.

"I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says.

"Come again?" says the worker, cupping his ear.
 
"No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise." 




Another Collingwood girl was involved in a serious crash; there's blood everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying flat out on the road.

Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
 
Sharon: "Ok."
 
Medic: "How many fingers am I putting up?"
 
Sharon: "Oh my god I'm from the waist down!"  





Announcements you don't want to hear

Some Flight Announcements You Might Not Want To Hear

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Adelaide, a flight attendant on a Qantas flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as f*** everything has shifted."


"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."


"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."
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