Message #3743

[caskur™]

CHINESE TORTURE

Once upon a time in China lived two men whose names were I KUM and NO KUM. NO KUM was married to a young and very pretty girl named NO KUM TU, while I KUM was single.

One night I KUM went to see is friend NO KUM. Upon arriving at NO KUM'S home, I KUM found out that NO KUM was not at home. NO KUM'S wife, NO KUM TU, invited I KUM to stay the night with her. That night NO KUM TU came which

gave I KUM great pleasure as I KUM came too.

After a time NO KUM found out that he was going to be a father, but NO KUM didn't know how come. When the little child was born, NO KUM named him HOW KUM YOU KUM.

But NO KUM TU and I KUM know how come HOW KUM YOU KUM came. To this day NO KUM doesn't know how come HOW KUM YOU KUM came.



Pending Divorce


A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property."

"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."

He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your question is 'yes'."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "most days he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I never wanted a divorce. It's husband. He says he can't communicate with me."



Mother in law dies


A man, his wife, and his mother in-law went on vacation to
the Holy Land. While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away.

The undertaker told them, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150.00."

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your mother in-law home, when it would be wonderful to have her buried here and spend only $150.00?"

The man replied, "A man died here 2,000 years ago, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."