Xtra Smileys
[Open]
Flame Damnation
March 28, 2024, 08:02:39 am
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News:   
 
 
  Home Help Arcade Gallery Links Login Register  

Just Kidding

Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Reply  |  New Topic  |  Print  
Author Topic: Just Kidding  (Read 482 times)
0 Members and 37 Guests are viewing this topic.
caskur™
Swing Voter
Administrator
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 11001


Tortured Artist


« on: October 29, 2008, 11:42:43 pm »
Reply with quoteQuote

Lottery Winner

A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says, "I want my $20 million."

The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years."

The Redneck said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it."

Again, the man explain that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.

The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my dollar back!"




Throw the money in my grave


An elderly man 82, just returned from the doctors only to find he didn't have long to live. So he summons the three most important people in his life to tell.
 
  1. His Doctor
  2. His Priest
  3. His Lawyer
 
  " Well today I found out I don't have long to live. So I asked you three here, because your the most important people in my life. And I need to ask a favour. Today I am going to give each of you and envelope with $50,000 dollars in it. When I die, I would ask that all three of you throw the money in my grave."
 
  Well a few days later the man passed on, The doctor said, "I have to admit I kept $10,000 dollars of his money, he owed me lots of medical bills. But I threw the other $35,000 in."
 
  The Priest said, "I have to admit also I kept $25,000 dollars for the church. Its all going to a good cause. And I threw the rest in."
 
  Well the Lawyer just couldn't believe what he was hearing, "I am surprised at you two. I wrote a check for the whole amount and threw it in."


********************************************************

Lawyers left hand

One day, there was a lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues.
 
  When all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of no where and took of the driver's side door with him standing right there.
 
  "NOOO!" he screamed, because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it never would be the same.
 
  Finally, a cop came by, and the lawyer ran up to him yelling. "MY JAGUAR DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!!!" he exclaimed. "Your a lawyer aren't you?" asked the policeman. "Yes, I am, but what does this have to do with my car?!?!" the lawyer asked.
 
  "HA! Your lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about is your possessions. I bet you didn't even notice that your LEFT ARM is missing did you?" the cop said.
 
  The lawyer looked down at his side and exclaimed "MY ROLEX!"
Report Spam   Logged


Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Reply  |  New Topic  |  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Bookmark this site!
Powered by SMF | SMF © 2016, Simple Machines
Privacy Policy