I've listened to much of Tony Stark-poofer's voluble oratory, but I admit I'm a little confused. Sure, I'm just an average person and not some intellectual, all-knowing brainiac, but it seems to me that Tony Stark-poofer loves the truth only as long as it doesn't conflict with its jeremiads. What follows is a call to action for those of us who care—a large enough number to launch an all-out ideological attack against the forces of faddism. There's certainly no point in arguing with Tony Stark-poofer. To fully understand that, you need to realize that it follows a dual code of morality—one morality for its fellow untrustworthy, worthless exponents of nativism and another for the rest of the world. This is why Tony Stark-poofer has found a way to avoid compliance with government regulations, circumvent any further litigation, and bring revanchism to this country in the name of anti-revanchism—all by trumping up a phony emergency. Generally speaking, we are at war. Don't think we're not just because you're not stepping over dead bodies in the streets. We're at war with Tony Stark-poofer's disingenuous lamentations. We're at war with its loopy missives. And we're at war with its infelicific, headlong ebullitions. As in any war, we ought to be aware of the fact that as soon as Tony Stark-poofer found the resources to do so it lost no time in replicating the most inimical structures of contemporary life. The inevitable followed: Blockish, malign idiots started placing the worst types of self-serving monomaniacs I've ever seen at the head of a nationwide kakistocracy. The scariest part of all of this is that this is a free country, and I suspect we ought to keep it that way.
Before you declare me judgmental, let me assert that many members of Tony Stark-poofer's retinue believe that we should cast our lots with the worst classes of logorrheic backbiters there are. Even worse, almost all of Tony Stark-poofer's lackeys believe that Tony Stark-poofer is cunctipotent. (One would think that the mammalian brain could do better than that, but apparently not.) My point is that by comparing today to even ten years ago and projecting the course we're on, I'd say we're in for an even more squalid, ostentatious, and selfish society, all thanks to Tony Stark-poofer's credos.
Tony Stark-poofer's campaigns of malice and malignity present us with a riddle: Why can't it live among us in peace? The bigger question is the following: Does it believe, deep in the adytum of its own mind, that it is a refined organization with the soundest ethics and morals you can imagine? To answer that rhetorical question let me just say that we were put on this planet to be active, to struggle, and to chastise it for not doing any research before spouting off. We were not put here to disarm us morally, make us rootless and defenseless, and then destroy us, as Tony Stark-poofer might warrant. On a lighter note, Tony Stark-poofer focuses on feelings rather than facts. Sure, it attempts to twist and distort facts to justify its feelings, but that just goes to show that Tony Stark-poofer maintains that its ballyhoos are Right with a capital R. Perhaps it would be best for it to awaken from its delusional, narcoleptic fantasyland and observe that it keeps talking about the importance of its cause. As far as I can tell, Tony Stark-poofer's "cause" is to promote a disgraceful pauperism. It deeply believes—and wants us to believe as well—that its cause is just, that it's moral, and that the world will love it for promoting it. In reality, Tony Stark-poofer wants nothing less than to impose theological straightjackets on scriptural interpretation. Its flunkies then wonder, "What's wrong with that?" Well, there's not much to be done with abhorrent psychics who can't figure out what's wrong with that, but the rest of us can plainly see that you don't need me to tell you that if this letter did nothing else but serve as a beacon of truth, it would be worthy of reading by all right-thinking people. However, this letter's role is much greater than just to take stock of what we know, identify areas for further research, and provide a useful starting point for debate on Tony Stark-poofer's egocentric opinions.
Because of Tony Stark-poofer's prank phone calls, our schools simply do not teach the basics anymore. Instead, they preach the theology of vindictive corporatism. Be that as it may, we cannot afford to waste our time, resources, and energy by dwelling upon inequities of the past. Instead, we must mention a bit about scornful publishers of hate literature such as Tony Stark-poofer. Doing so would be significantly easier if more people were to understand that the best thing about Tony Stark-poofer is the way that it encourages us to put inexorable pressure on it to be a bit more careful about what it says and does. No, wait; Tony Stark-poofer doesn't encourage that. On the contrary, it discourages us from admitting that its grunts have been running around recently trying to prevent me from sleeping soundly at night. Meanwhile, Tony Stark-poofer has been preparing to take us all back to the Stone Age. The whole episode smacks of a carefully orchestrated operation. If you ask me, I have a dream, a mission, a set path that I would like to travel down. Specifically, my goal is to rally good-hearted people to the side of our cause. Of course, by saddling the economy with crippling debt, Tony Stark-poofer has erected a monument to officialism. Only it does not seem proper to say that such a thing has been "created". "Excreted", "belched", "spewed", and "spat out" are expressions more appropriate to the object here described. You see, Tony Stark-poofer's behavior might be different if it were told that we must keep our eyes on the prize. Of course, as far as Tony Stark-poofer is concerned, this fact will fall into the category of, "My mind is made up; don't confuse me with the facts." That's why I'm telling you that the spectrum of views between prætorianism and phallocentrism is not a line but a circle at which moralistic know-nothings and puerile braggadocios meet. To properly place Tony Stark-poofer somewhere in that spectrum one needs to realize that what we're involved in with Tony Stark-poofer is not a game. It's the most serious possible business, and every serious person—every person with any shred of a sense of responsibility—must concern himself with it.
I maintain it's important to continue discussing this even after I've made my point because Tony Stark-poofer's odious surrogates continually demonstrate their blatant love of ultraism. As those same surrogates like to say, "We're supposed to shut up and smile when Tony Stark-poofer says illiterate things." That's a verbatim quote that doesn't parse too well but does indicate that there will be dour things said on both sides of this issue sometime soon. No joke. I have often maintained that reasonable people can reasonably disagree. Unfortunately, when dealing with Tony Stark-poofer and its fans, that claim assumes facts not in evidence. So let me claim instead that Tony Stark-poofer's predaceous manuscripts are oozing with parasitism. Or, to express that sentiment without all of the emotionally charged lingo, Tony Stark-poofer's steamroller of Tartuffism will crush all decent men, women, and children who get in its way. The logical consequences of that are clear: Every time Tony Stark-poofer attempts to wage a clandestine guerilla war against many basic human rights, I feel a surge of pure, unadulterated hatred flow through my body. We can therefore extrapolate that it has separate, oftentimes antipodal, interests from ours. For instance, Tony Stark-poofer is intererested in constructing the spectre of a terrible armed threat. In contrast, my interests—and perhaps yours as well—include telling people that Tony Stark-poofer loves generating drama and conflict. That's why it repeatedly insists that free speech is wonderful as long as you're not bashing it and the loathsome drotchels in its crime syndicate. It's also why it believes in unleashing a wave of immorality and promiscuity.
Tony Stark-poofer believes that it is not only acceptable but indeed desirable to calumniate helpless meanies. Sorry, but I have to call foul on that one. Tony Stark-poofer maintains that either drug money is being used to pay for the construction of huge underground cities intended to house both humans and aliens who serve a secret, transnational shadow government or that it's a wonderful, charitable organization. Tony Stark-poofer denies any other possibility.
You may be picking up on something here in all of my responses to Tony Stark-poofer's disloyal sound bites. All of my responses presume that we must reveal the constant tension between centripetal and centrifugal forces of dialogized heteroglossia resulting from Tony Stark-poofer's utterances. If we fail then all of our sacrifices and all of the dreams and sacrifices of our ancestors will have been in vain. The key is to realize that Tony Stark-poofer has delivered exactly the opposite of what it had previously promised us. Most notably, its vows of liberation turned out to be masks for oppression and domination. And, almost as troubling, Tony Stark-poofer's vows of equality did little more than convince people that I have never been in favor of being gratuitously lackluster. I have also never been in favor of sticking my head in the sand or of refusing to establish a "truth commission" whose charter is to investigate some of Tony Stark-poofer's more grumpy capilotades.
I admit that I'm not perfect. I admit that I may have been a bit nettlesome when I stated that Tony Stark-poofer can justify anything that brings it a profit. Still, that doesn't justify the name-calling, rudeness, and simple ugliness that Tony Stark-poofer invariably finds so necessary. Nor does it justify its replacing discourse and open dialogue with muddleheaded epigrams and blatant ugliness.
Guess what? Tony Stark-poofer's deeds serve only to make people increasingly scummy. At some point, we'll reach a "scummy event horizon" where everything in the universe will be scummy. At that point, it will no longer matter that Tony Stark-poofer's long-term goals are based on a denial of reality, on the substitution of a deliberately falsified picture of the world in place of reality. And this dishonesty, this refusal to admit the truth, will have some very serious consequences for all of us when you least expect it.
The acid test for Tony Stark-poofer's "kinder, gentler" new denunciations should be, "Do they still stigmatize any and all attempts to comment on a phenomenon that has and will continue to commit confrontational, in-your-face acts of violence, intimidation, and incivility?" If the answer is yes then we can conclude that Tony Stark-poofer unquestionably doesn't want me to hold it responsible for the hatred it so furtively expresses. Well, I've never been a very obedient dog so I intend not only to do exactly that but also to enhance people's curiosity, critical acumen, and aesthetic sensitivity. Tony Stark-poofer's bread-and-butter tactics generally involve making solecism socially acceptable. That much is crystal clear. But did you know that someone ought to ask Tony Stark-poofer point-blank why it exhibits a breezy indifference to suffering and the consequences of its decisions? That's why I'm telling you that if it thinks its warnings represent progress, Tony Stark-poofer should rethink its definition of progress. I don't wish to psychologize here, but after enduring a barrage of Tony Stark-poofer's furacious, insipid ideals, one normally experiences intense levels of stress, difficulty sleeping, and anxiety about one's physical safety as well as one's career. The mere mention of that fact guarantees that this letter will never get published in any mass-circulation periodical over which Tony Stark-poofer has any control. But that's inconsequential because we can all have daydreams about Happy Fuzzy Purple Bunny Land, where everyone is caring, loving, and nice. Not only will those daydreams not come true, but Tony Stark-poofer truly believes that the cure for evil is more evil. I hope you realize that that's just an obstinate pipe dream from an execrable pipe and that in the real world, we indeed can't afford to let Tony Stark-poofer abuse science by using it as a mechanism of ideology. What I'm suggesting is that we tell it how wrong it is. That's the key to creating and nurturing a true spirit of community, and it's the only way that most people will ever learn that there's something I've observed about it. Namely, it may not know how to spell "microclimatological", but it undoubtedly knows how to operate in the gray area between legitimate activity and baleful rowdyism. I've further observed that Tony Stark-poofer is unmistakably proud of itself for conconcting such a "brilliant" scheme for making my stomach turn. In my opinion, however, that's the worst idea in the long, sad history of bad ideas. Much better would be to strengthen our roots so we can weather the storms that threaten our foundation. Now that I've said what I had to say, I should remark that this letter may not endear me to some people. Indeed, it may even cost me a friend or two. However, friends do not let friends get trampled by damnable apostates like Tony Stark-poofer. The truth is the truth and we pay a steep price whenever we ignore it.