Joke of the Day

[caskur]

A man was in a doctors office and the doctor walked in and said, ok what do you need today sir.

The man pulled down his pants and showed the doctor his beat up, bruised, and bleading ****.

The doctor said, damn how did you do that?

The man said well I live in a trailor, and every night I have noticed that the woman in the trailor next to mine at exactally 9:00pm, she moves her rug where there is a hole in the floor, she sticks a hot dog in the hole and masterbates with it.

So one day I got an idea at 8:45pm I would go under her trailor and when she put the hot dog in the hole I would pull it out and stick my **** in the hole.

So that night I did, and it was going great untill someone knocked on the door and she tried to kick it under the oven!

SS~

[Test Dummy]

On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.

Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails.
Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril,and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He was gourgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle,unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves.

The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman,and whispers: "Iron"

[Martha]

A fat lady walks into a bar with a pig under her arm. The bartender asks: "where did you get the cow?" the fat lady says "its not a cow its a pig", and the bartender said, " I was talking to the pig

[caskur™]

I think we've lost her....

[caskur™]

During the service, the pastor AlpoNova asked if anyone at Flame Damnation would like to express praise for prayers, which had been answered.

caskur stood up and came forward.

She said, "I have a reason to thank the Lord."

"Two months ago, my husband, Lurk, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed."

"The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."

You could hear an audible gasp from the men at Flame Damnation as they imagined the pain that poor Lurk experienced.

She continued, "Lurk was unable to hold me or the pets and every move caused him terrible pain."

"We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation."

"They were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Lurk's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."

Again, the men Flame Damnation squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Lurk.

She continued, "Now, Lurk is out of the hospital and the doctors say, with time, his scrotum should recover completely."

All the men sighed with relief.

Pastor AlpoNova rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had anything to say.

A man rose and walked slowly to the podium.

He said, "I'm Lurk and I would like to tell my beautiful blonde wife, the word is “sternum."

[caskur™]

Alpo spotted at Christmas...

[Son of Satan sucks cock]

Deep throat.

[caskur™]

3 Rednecks in a Morgue

Three smiling redneck cadavers are lying in a morgue in Perth, and a Cop goes into the coroner's office to find out the cause of death.

The coroner points to the first dead man. This is Brutus, he says. He croaked it after winning $22 million in lotto.

He then moves onto the second smiling cadaver. This is Bob, the coroner says with a grin. He died having oral sex with Tiger Woods.

Finally he moves onto the last smiling cadaver. This is Roscoe, says the coroner. He died after being struck by lightning. "Well," asks the cop,  "Why in the hell was he smiling?"

"Oh," says the coroner, "He thought he was having his picture taken."

[Caskur is a pig]

Caskur walked into a bar.  She was so fat that she got laughed at right away.

She attempted to order a drink.  The bar tender laughed at her.

As the patrons began screaming "oink, oink", caskur ran out of the bar in tears.

She then went on the web and posted everyone's PI that she could.

[caskur™]

Very weak joke....

[icy]

Hiya Guests!  We need some action up in here.

 

[caskur™]

Priscilla, Queen of the Desert - I Will Survive


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7t9vP9SVwc&feature=related

[caskur™]

What Farmer is getting for Christmas...

[me]

I can't post from wrk?  Says not accepting wireless users at this time

[caskur™]

http://s3.amazonaws.com/dv_assets/plot_template_lang3.swf?movie_id=390824