Xtra Smileys
[Open]
Flame Damnation
June 29, 2017, 02:07:37 am
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News:   
 
 
  Home Help Arcade Gallery Links Login Register  

Jokes of the Day


Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Reply  |  New Topic  |  Print  
Author Topic: Jokes of the Day  (Read 38 times)
caskur™
Swing Voter
Administrator
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 10990


Tortured Artist


« on: August 18, 2009, 03:20:02 am »
Reply with quoteQuote

Politically correct women descriptions...

She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN

She is not a SCREAMER or a MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE

She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE

She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY

She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION

She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED

She is not **** - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED

She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED

She is not a **** - she is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED

She is not a TWO-BIT **** - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q. What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

A. We better get some support or people will think we're nuts.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q. What will Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson both be getting for Christmas?

A. Patrick Swayze


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.

She showed him a bottle costing $50.00.

"That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.

"That's still quite a bit," Tim complained.

Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.

"What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."

The clerk handed him a mirror.

Report Spam   Logged

Social Buttons

ABOYO
Guest
« Reply #1 on: August 18, 2009, 03:34:10 am »
Reply with quoteQuote

This 80 year old woman was arrested for shoplifting in a supermarket.

When she went before the judge he asked her, 'What did you steal?'

She replied, 'A can of peaches.'

The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches, and she replied that she was hungry.

The judge asked her how many peaches were in the can.

She replied that there were six.

The judge said, 'Then I will give you six days in jail.'

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband stood up, and asked the judge if he could say something.

The judge said, 'What is it?'

The husband said, ‘She also stole a can of peas.’
Report Spam   Logged
caskur™
Swing Voter
Administrator
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 10990


Tortured Artist


« Reply #2 on: August 18, 2009, 05:58:14 pm »
Reply with quoteQuote

Don't throw in the towel yet


An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm.

Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi. The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion.

"Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help the wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm."

They go home and follow the rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. But it doesn't help and she is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the rabbi.

"Okay", says the rabbi, "let's try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them."

Once again, they follow the rabbi's advice. The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel. The young man really gets into **** this guy's wife so he works with great enthusiasm and the wife soon has an enormous, room-shaking screaming orgasm.

Stubborn to the end, the husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him, triumphantly, "You see, THAT'S the way to wave a **** towel!"

Report Spam   Logged


Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Reply  |  New Topic  |  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by EzPortal
Bookmark this site!
Powered by SMF | SMF © 2016, Simple Machines