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Title: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 11, 2009, 04:47:20 pm A couple of days ago, my BIL suffered a heart attack. He is supposed to be turning 54 in June.....he is very fit looking man and has a black belt in Ju Jitsu. He does skin diving these days....well, he was with his skin diving partner and he hadn't been feeling too well and when they got home from driving for a couple of hours, he collapsed on the floor.....His friend started CPR and rang an ambulance. The ambulance arrived 9 minutes later.....his heart stopped twice....when he arrived at hospital, they performed a stent on him and put him in an induced coma blanketing him in ice to bring down his body temperature. Yesterday, they tried to bring him to....and he isn't/hasn't responded since they brought him out of his induced coma....today there is a family meeting in about 4 hrs time to discuss what is going to happen....since there is no REM he is probably brain dead and they're just keeping him alive with a respirator.
His eldest daughter hasn't been talking to him for a while now....now she'll never get the opportunity...so if you're not talking to someone you love....rethink it or else you might suffer if they drop dead suddenly... Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 13, 2009, 03:17:43 pm He isn't responding.
He has brain damage. It has put a bit of strain on the family.. It makes me think that resuscitating isn't always a good idea especially if an ambulance is on the way. OK, I can understand being in a hospital with all the equipment at hand so resuscitation can start virtually immediately and saving brain damage but what is the point in making someone a vegetable? MY BIL was adamant that he never wanted to be a vegetable, that he would rather die and I am of the same mind. His girlfriend is more hopeful...it has only been 4-5 days....I'm giving him to Monday....when they pull out his tubes for breathing and he survives that, he'll go into a nursing home.... To me, the cruelest position to be in, is half dead.....my brother-inlaw has a fit appearance and he was skin diving last weekend. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: arete on March 13, 2009, 04:55:23 pm That's awful, Omni. Sorry to hear. I hope
he pulls through. Miracles happen. He could recoop and have all his faculties. I hope his daughter has the opportunity to make ammends. It's sad. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 13, 2009, 06:21:27 pm That's awful, Omni. Sorry to hear. I hope he pulls through. Miracles happen. He could recoop and have all his faculties. I hope his daughter has the opportunity to make ammends. It's sad. Nope, she hasn't talked to him for 3 months. Of course she is at the hospital everyday but if he dies, it is going to be too late to make amends with her....silly really... he isn't going to pull through Arete....he has severe brain damage.... Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 18, 2009, 08:04:00 pm My BIL is in the same situation and has been for 10 days. It has finally occurred to everyone, he isn't going to recover. He has severe brain damage from being starved of oxygen. The trouble is, he had extensive conversations with his family telling them he doesn't want to end his life this way [as a vegetable] so the medical staff have asked the family whether or not if he has another heart attack, to revive him and all of them have said NO, no reviving. Everyone is now in limbo and he cannot stay in ICU forever.
It is so sad for Natasha Richardson's family, but at least they'll get to grieve and recover eventually. Our friend Charlie' mother just died in hospital after 14 years of being a vegetable.....14 years she has been in a hospital after collasping from a brain hemorrhage at 70. I think it is the cruelest thing we do to people. There are worse things than being dead and that is to be half dead. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: Godfather on March 20, 2009, 05:41:28 am O2 level below 70 is bad for brain.
I hd lived with 80 for nearly a week and hd started to behave crazily. A trip to hospital for 4 days made me fine. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 20, 2009, 05:48:44 am He has done a few things now....he squeezed someone's hand five times and today he lifted his head by himself....so someone said....I wasn't there....the breathing tube has been taken out so he breathes on his own....his appearance is changing drastically. He is biting his lip and it all looks very nasty...He has opened his eyes and turned towards various voices....but basically he is ****.
Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: Godfather on March 20, 2009, 06:11:30 am What is skin diving?
How is BIL related to ya? Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: Godfather on March 20, 2009, 06:12:32 am He might be back?
Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 20, 2009, 06:37:07 am He might be back? He is in lala land...the lights are on, but no one is home. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: arete on March 20, 2009, 07:55:28 am You have no faith, g/f. He will be back. Lights on and home.
Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 20, 2009, 08:19:46 am His kids are looking through his private things.
They're looking for his gold watch. I mean, the man isn't even dead yet. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: Godfather on March 20, 2009, 08:34:07 am He is jus 54.
So kids should be max 25-26. Thats pathetic. Its better nt to hv kids rather hv such materialistic kids with no emotions. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 20, 2009, 08:45:40 am They're not just looking for that, they're looking for an underwater camera....
He went down south and was coming home from skin diving and seeing a Chris Isaaks concert. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 23, 2009, 09:19:41 am My BIL has been moved out of ICU and is in a ward. He has his eyes opened more often now and can move one arm.....he also cried 4 times today....He seems to respond to one of his girlfriends....he has two girlfriends and an Ex wife...looks like he isn't as brain damaged as they first thought...maybe there is a little more hope....God I hope so.
Some of the stuff have been encouraging saying different things like, "people who seem they'll make it, shock them by dropping dead, and people they think have no hope at all, end up walking out".....you just never can tell, [some of them said that]. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: bella on March 23, 2009, 11:18:16 am he could be pulling out-it takes some time
Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 23, 2009, 11:40:47 am he could be pulling out-it takes some time I'm giving him a month.... He didn't want to live like this....he discussed it many times with his family so they know his mind. He actually moved his arm on this chest today.....and one time over the past fortnight, crossed his legs... the fact he cried four times today, shows he knows what is going on.....there is a man sharing his ward who is around the same age....52...Eric will be 53 in June....the man said Eric has his eyes open often....he can't talk but tries to make sounds.... he has brain damage...but whether or not his brain starts making alternative roots [that is what I am thinking might happen] he is basically buggered. I have always stayed open minded and hopeful and as I said, I am waiting a whole month...his own mother is a nurse and had him dead and buried from day one....she is a very negative woman..... Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: Godfather on March 23, 2009, 01:07:52 pm Negative 4 her son?
If he is doing everything, them what the **** are doc doing to bring him back? Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 23, 2009, 01:14:45 pm It has only been two weeks....
he had a heart attack...they fixed it with a stent... but he was deprived of oxygen before the ambulance arrived....he is at one of the best places on the planet for a heart attack....we just have to wait and see... NO ONE can really tell what the brain will do....it always amazes, especially the people who operate on them... Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: Godfather on March 24, 2009, 02:15:32 am The only thing in doc's mind is to pro long the stay and make a hefty bill.
Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 24, 2009, 03:22:19 am The only thing in doc's mind is to pro long the stay and make a hefty bill. He is in a public hospital...they are free in Australia.....he doesn't have to pay a cent for being there. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: Godfather on March 24, 2009, 04:36:41 am Hw can a free place be the best hospital for heart attack on the planet,
Or u mean Oz is semi communist? Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 24, 2009, 04:53:33 am We've had over 30 yrs of free hospitals...paid for by courtesy of a tax levy of 3%....
Why? What are your hospitals like? Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 24, 2009, 04:57:56 am It is the leading teaching hospital of the state...
http://www.nursingwa.com.au/ hths Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: Godfather on March 24, 2009, 05:46:38 am Why? What are your hospitals like? We hv government and private hospitals. Guv ones are just for post mortem, you'll definately die if get ur "FREE" treatment there. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 24, 2009, 06:00:07 am Well plenty of nations cottoned onto medicare years ago....don't blame me for your failings....LOL
The Japs have free medical AND DENTAL.....we have free dental for school kids. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: arete on March 24, 2009, 07:52:07 pm Nothing worthwhile comes easy or free. Somebody someplace
is paying for it if it's worthwhile. period. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: bella on March 24, 2009, 07:55:13 pm Quote .he is at one of the best places on the planet for a heart attack....we just have to wait and see... this is is the top one in the the u.s. & it's by me ;) robin williams is here now for his valve procedure. http://www.usnews.com/directories/hospitals/index_html/specialty+IHQCARD/ Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: Godfather on March 25, 2009, 02:48:22 am Bt medicare for its quality is cheapest in my land.
Its so cheap and good that ppl frm other countries find it cheaper to fly to my country to get quality bt cheap medicare. Education and Healthcare is quite cheap compared to yours. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 25, 2009, 03:39:10 am Ha, the former President of Indonesia came to Perth to use our hospital....We built a bloody hospital in Bali [Indonesia] for crying out loud AFTER they killed 200 Australians....
anyway, don't get me onto the health system...all the trash from other countries use it and yes, that makes me angry... bottom line is, my BIL was 9 minutes away from THE major trauma hospital in my state which happens to be 1/3 the size of Australia..... He isn't going to make it long term I feel....but that is how I feel today...who knows, tomorrow he may surprise me. I'm in a low mood at the moment.... Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: Demeters Daughter on March 25, 2009, 08:42:15 am Hi Caskur. Please don't take this as anything other than what it's meant to be - I really am sorry to hear about your brother in law. It's no fun watching someone who was one day healthy and vibrant suddenly struggle to lift their head or perform the simplest tasks.
I clicked the link for the hospital, and it seems to be one of the better ones in your neck of the woods, so I'm sure they've done all the usual brain function tests. The only thing you guys can do now is wait. Hopefully, he turns it around. Also hopefully, his kids stop acting like assheads and remember what they're there for (no offense but it sickens me when family members take the first opportunity to go rooting around in a sick person's personal effects). Anyway, best of luck. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 25, 2009, 09:50:02 am They found the gold watch....it was at the jewellers.
Yes, it was silly to poke around so early BUT they can justify doing that....his area has many breakins.....and he has a fair few things that need protecting... I won't say on the net since people know me in real life.. Today's up date is, he still can't talk but as I have said, he cried 4 times on Sunday and he pulled out the tube that is feeding him.....he has moved one arm.....and once crossed his legs....he is asleep by the time people see him....so there is no action....he is coughing less too.....he was a smoker....that caused some terrible coughing in fits the first week as his lungs were cleaning out and he was biting down on his lips and the breathing tube they stuck down his throat..... I am waiting a month before I get excited but I am not as emotionally contected to it all...I hold a little bit more hope than some of the others...... this is what the doctors think will happen....they said he has severe brain damage and when he gets a secondary lung infection, he'll die.. He looks really, really good laying there....he looks younger.....the first few days, he was unrecognizable due to facial swelling but that has completely gone. If my scanner worked, I'd show a picture of him....he is a very good looking man....and his outward appearance is fit.... Just goes to show though, when all said and done, it is what your artieries look like on the inside, not the outsides appearance. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 27, 2009, 05:37:48 pm He has a rash on his back now and a chest infection.
He has moved both arms around and responds to sounds and voices by turning his Head and looking towards the sounds....still no talking. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: Demeters Daughter on March 28, 2009, 08:26:00 am It sounds like he might get better, although I doubt he'll fully recover. Good luck.
Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 28, 2009, 08:50:19 am It is starting to look like he'll never fully recover.....true.
It is funny how he now is suffering the one thing he dreaded most which may sound trite on my part BUT, be careful what you wish for. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: Demeters Daughter on March 28, 2009, 03:23:54 pm It doesn't sound trite at all, hon. It's true. Also, be careful what excuses you use, like to get out of work or whatever. Go tell your boss there was a death in the family, and watch what happens.
Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 28, 2009, 03:28:47 pm When Eric's boss's name was mentioned, that was when he cried [last Sunday]....Eric's boss calls him, "son."
Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: Demeters Daughter on March 28, 2009, 03:35:36 pm Aw. Well, it's good that he's aware enough to recognize the name. I'll keep him and your family in my prayers (yes, Wiccans pray).
Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 31, 2009, 05:58:31 am They've got him on a morphine drip.
That means he isn't going to last long. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 31, 2009, 07:15:56 am I just got a phone call...
Eric died. I'm a bit choked up. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: Demeters Daughter on March 31, 2009, 07:20:30 am Aw, honey, I'm really sorry. I don't know what else to say. I will definitely keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers.
Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 31, 2009, 07:27:22 am He died at 8:10 pm...
Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: Demeters Daughter on March 31, 2009, 07:32:53 am You guys are what, 12 hours ahead of New York? They called you pretty quick. I hope he went peacefully (he probably did if they had him on enough morphine and no, I'm not being facetious).
Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 31, 2009, 08:39:38 am I got a phone call within minutes of his death....
Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: Demeters Daughter on March 31, 2009, 08:50:53 am Yeah, bad news travels fast.
Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 31, 2009, 09:01:56 am Eric's the blondie signing the registry...Eric got the blonde hair brown eyes, Kurt got the height, the dark hair and the blue eyes...but both good looking sexy men.
when I get another scanner, I will post better shots....too bad this isn't a good way of taking pictures... (http://img15.imageshack.us/img15/1343/weddingr.jpg) (http://img15.imageshack.us/my.php?image=weddingr.jpg) Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: «ŠÞëärƒïsh» on March 31, 2009, 10:09:31 am I'm so sorry Cathy.
Thinking of you. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 31, 2009, 10:36:47 am There is a lot going on around here...
I'll be able to give more attention in a bit... thanks Spear, it isn't a good time at the moment as all the things that went down, is getting chewed over. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 31, 2009, 10:38:26 am It is 11:30 pm and I haven't had dinner, lunch or breakfast for that matter...
I'm having something to eat soon....I'm not hungry for some reason. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: Godfather on March 31, 2009, 01:16:33 pm BIL is alive?
I am bit confused in names especially when I dont know them. I am sorry. May the Soul Rest in Peace. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on March 31, 2009, 03:56:05 pm BIL is alive? I am bit confused in names especially when I dont know them. I am sorry. May the Soul Rest in Peace. He was alive when we left the hospital at 7:00 pm and then we got a phone call about 8:15pm.....he died at 8:10pm. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: Damion Hellstrom on April 01, 2009, 06:50:13 am Sorry to hear this, caskur.
Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on April 01, 2009, 07:42:38 am ty Hellstrom.
Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on April 02, 2009, 10:31:11 am Just a friendly reminder. Next time you think about buying something, just remember if you die, it is something one of your relatives will have to either, keep, give away, or sell.
Why do we accumulate so much crap? In the west we have too much. We tie ourselves down with it. When I had to start life again, I was happy to have just enough nice stuff to be content. I'm not a collector type person....I never got that bug, thank God. I dread the thought of my mother dying and us having to deal with a huge house full of "you name it." I'm thinking about my ex boyfriend Phillip.....3 houses FULL OF crap....yes, nice crap...but no heirs to deal with it if he should pass on. There comes a time in your life, and I have personally reached that myself, when your "things" feel like a straight jacket. OK, I might be going through something right now but it is the realization that from this point on someone is going to die, in my extended family and friends and their things are going to be swallowed up. Give more to the needy. Have garage sales,......and more importantly stop spending so much. Even the charities turn away donations these days where I am from. Quite ludicrous when there is so much extreme poverty in developing nations. There is a new way to donate where I live....I should imagine other countries have already thought of it, but we now have bins outside of shopping centres where people can buy pet food and put it in them for the animal shelters. Be a conduit for the flow of life and lighten your load. Do it now before it gets to be a problem. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: bella on April 02, 2009, 04:57:27 pm my sincere condolences cathy(http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y291/pamela-kyle/40-1.gif)
Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: Demeters Daughter on April 02, 2009, 07:11:28 pm I don't collect "stuff." I'm pretty ascetic in terms of decorating and tcotschies. For one thing "stuff" is just that - stuff. I don't need a lot of crap around me to make me happy. I guess the way I grew up influenced that - we were well-to-do and my mom, who came from a relatively poor Irish family in the Falls Road (that's in Belfast) as a Catholic, was hell bent on collecting things because she considered a sign of success (although after a couple of years of marriage to my father, who came from a well-to-do family in Paris, she got over that). For another thing, I don't want to have to dust all that ****. I can't imagine having 200 Hummel figurines on my fireplace mantel and having to take them all down, dust the mantel, then dust the figurines individually. **** that noise. I like clean, open spaces with lots of air and light.
Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: Damion Hellstrom on April 02, 2009, 08:53:59 pm The real embarrassment is when someone dies and the relatives go through his stuff and end up finding all the **** he's stashed in his house.
Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on April 02, 2009, 10:06:59 pm Speaking about finding embarrassing things, the eldest daughter found a list of things her dad didn't like about her....one which said she was "money hungry"....a bit rich from someone who wanted the best of everything and all the kids got designer labeled clothes.
Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on April 04, 2009, 10:08:48 am Notices went in the paper today.
The funeral is Monday. I am not going to it. All my family are. I’m not going to any funerals except my own. The last one I went to I couldn’t stop balling my eyes out and told myself I’m never going to another funeral again. Kane’s funeral broke me. If my BIL’s side of the family don’t understand then that is too bad. They have arranged a Ford GT Ute to carry the coffin. My BIL had a couple over his life times...they were into V8's and Harley Davidson bikes....in fact Eric has a collectors item HD bike....that will be sold. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: Godfather on April 04, 2009, 01:12:13 pm Nt to hurt you cas, bt has the G20 Summit crazed you or what?
Coz actually I thought only ppl in my country hd the bad habit to collect things and nvr give it away and BTW ppl in developing countries collect more than west. Developing countries or Africa, are you using them are inter-changebly? Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on April 04, 2009, 01:27:24 pm Nt to hurt you cas, bt has the G20 Summit crazed you or what? No, it hasn't but my "things" have tied me down for instance, I still have antiques down in the shed after 10 yrs that still haven't been cleaned from slight smoke damage. I don't need them in my new house. I have walk in robes BUT, the furniture is exquisit. Our fire was put out before it reached the bedrooms so they were only attacked from smoke damage and water damage.... Like I said, I like room around me and not to cram the joint with clutter....I live with a pack rat and I cannot bare it. If I had sold them I could have invested the money instead.....some possessions fall between good investments and sentimental attachment. That isn't wrong either. I want to travel and unless I lighten the load, it isn't gonna happen.....I'm just going through a thing I guess. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on April 07, 2009, 04:15:17 pm I didn’t go to the funeral. I have been to one funeral after Kane died and couldn’t control my tears and knew I could never go to another one again. The only funeral I’ll ever go to is my own when that time comes.
Some close family met here at my place. Eric’s youngest daughter Erica ironed an Iron Cross flag they had made to drape over the coffin. Eric was into WW2 aviation since one of his uncles was in the German air force in WW2 and was shot down over Russia…now his son is a pilot as well. Two daughters are marine biologists. Erica is my favourite since lately we have had much to do with her…. The funeral started at the funeral directors and between 150-180 showed up. They played the Blues Brothers music and Verity James led the service claiming that the service was the most unusual she ever attended. She is an ABC radio and TV personalty and apparently did a fantastic job of it. My stepfather said it was the up there with the top 3-4 funerals he ever went to. After the service and speeches, everyone was ushered into a room and given neat shots of Glen Fiddich whiskey…the women either coughed or passed it on to the men. Kurt was upset the women never got an opportunity to have an alternative sweet liqueur. From there they took the body in the back of a Ford GT ute [Eric once had one] and held a private ceremony for the immediate family at the Fremantle Crematorium. Everyone met down at East Fremantle’s “Left Bank” hotels for drinks into the later night. (http://i138.photobucket.com/albums/q260/caskur_2006/20090406_10.jpg) (http://i138.photobucket.com/albums/q260/caskur_2006/Picture155.jpg) She is a Botticeli angel…. (http://i138.photobucket.com/albums/q260/caskur_2006/erica.jpg) Today his ashes will be thrown at sea at Port Beach, Fremantle…that is also a private family occasion. The Left Bank… (http://national.atdw.com.au/multimedia/watc/9003462olfleftbank1.jpg) (http://mw2.google.com/mw-panoramio/photos/medium/356148.jpg) Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: Ares Abani on April 17, 2009, 10:39:17 am Hi Caskur
I figured ithis page would load if i came back when my computer was running a bit faster. Sounds like he was a great person Caskur. Beautiful pictures. Title: Re: Bad News from my rl Post by: caskur™ on April 17, 2009, 01:11:07 pm Hi Caskur I figured ithis page would load if i came back when my computer was running a bit faster. Sounds like he was a great person Caskur. Beautiful pictures. You missed the pictures Ares....I'll email them to you... |